When Mr Maxwell’s wife left him, he couldn’t sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed.
Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. “I’ve just bought a pig,” said the first. “But where will you keep it?” said the second. “Your yard’s much too small for a pig!” “I’m going to keep it under my bed,” replied his friend. “But what about the smell?” “He’ll soon get used to […]
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. “What’s wrong?” asked his mother. “Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?” he sobbed. “In a way they do,” said his mother. “And when they die so they turn back to dust?” “Yes, they do.” The little boy began to cry again. […]
The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.
Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks.
Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don’t feel well. Doctor: Don’t worry, you’ll just have to go to bed for a spell.
Doctor, doctor, I’m having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it’s your bed. Oh, I’m all right at night, it’s in the day I have problems.
Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister’s bed? Son: I couldn’t find a spider.
What should you do if you find a snake in your bed? Sleep in the wardrobe.
What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer.
